How Executive Functioning affects Social Skills

Diana Cortese Author

Executive functioning skills are directly tied to social success. Use games to help kids develop cognitive flexibility, memory, and self control.

The Importance of Executive Functioning Skills for Social Success

Executive functioning skills are the skills that help us get things done. They are goal-directed behaviors and are critical for success in school, work, and life. When we think of someone who has solid executive functioning skills, we think of someone who is great at planning and organizing themselves and their work, like managing long-term projects or keeping their workspace tidy. 

They're also the skills that help us navigate the social world. What educators often don't realize is how important strong executive functioning skills are to social success, too. In order to develop healthy and rewarding social connections, kids need to be able to regulate their behavior and emotions, take others' perspectives, and solve social problems effectively. 

These are all behaviors directly affected by how strong their executive functioning skills are. For example, a child with strong inhibitory control is less likely to interrupt others during a conversation, a key component of successful social interactions. 

There are a myriad of executive functioning skills, but it's easiest to think of them in terms of 3 broad umbrella terms. These core executive functioning skills are essential for making and keeping friends.

3 Key Executive Functioning Skills for Social Success

1. Cognitive Flexibility: Adapting to Change

When students who have strong cognitive flexibility skills are able to approach problems from different angles and generate creative solutions. They are more adaptable to change and build up resilience when things don't always go their way. 

This is a key area to focus on if you have students who are apprehensive to any type of change or lack of control over what they do or have. For example, this might be the student who gets extremely upset when the class schedule changes unexpectedly or the child who insists on playing the same board game by the exact same rules every single time. 

Improving cognitive flexibility in children can help them cope with transitions, handle unexpected events, and develop better problem-solving skills in various situations, from academic challenges to social interactions

Games to Improve Cognitive Flexibility

Games like Labyrinth, Rush Hour, and Bop It are excellent games for developing the habit of adapting to change quickly. Although Simon is a fast paced game and Labrynth is more methodical, each of these games requires the player to be flexible and open minded with their responses. They teach children how to think on their feet, adjust their strategies, and embrace changes in the game's dynamics, which translates to improved adaptability in real-life scenarios. These types of games are great for building cognitive flexibility skills in children of all ages.

2. Inhibitory Control: Self Management 

When a child lacks inhibitory control, they are at the mercy of their whims and strongest emotions at that time. Behaviors that indicate a dysregulated state such as interrupting, throwing things, or  having an frustrated emotional outburst can really damage a potential friendship. 

These impulsive actions, stemming from poor inhibitory control, can make it difficult for children to maintain positive relationships and develop healthy social skills. Improving inhibitory control in children is essential for developing strong emotional regulation and promoting positive social interactions.

Games for Developing Inhibitory Control

Games that require kids to be careful and mindful of their actions but are not that long in duration, are perfect for repeated practice. I really like Jenga, Don't Break the Ice and Topple. These are easy, quick, games that allow for multiple opportunities to practice inhibitory control. Outside games like Red Light, Green Light, Simon Says and Freeze Dance are all excellent for inhibitory control as well as emotional regulation. 

These active games encourage children to listen carefully, follow instructions, and control their movements, all of which are key components of inhibitory control development. Incorporating these types of games into a child's routine can be a playful way to improve their ability to manage impulses and regulate their emotions.

3. Working Memory

Working memory is what is used for storing and manipulating information. In the social realm, it helps us remembering important social cues and applying them to different situations. It allows us to maintain a conversation and remember key details about what the other person has said, keep it in our head and then respond with a relevant comment or question.

But for some, holding on to the information from another can be quite challenging. The child has to wait to talk, the pace may be fast, or they may not be completely interested in what the other person is saying. These working memory challenges can make it difficult for children to follow along in conversations, understand social dynamics, and build meaningful relationships. Improving working memory for social situations can help children become more attentive listeners, better conversationalists, and more socially competent individuals.

Games that Target Working Memory

Games like Go Fish, Blink, Taco Cat Goat Cheese Pizza and Story Cubes all are fun table top activities that your students will enjoy. All of these games, naturally incentivize players to pay attention to the moves of others and act on the knowledge they gain from that focus. It builds a positive association between this focus, retention and subsequent output. 

These types of working memory card games and activities are great for improving concentration, recall, and processing speed in children of all ages. They can also be used to target specific working memory challenges in the classroom or at home.

The key to help kids develop and strengthen their executive functioning skills is to create a noncompetitive atmosphere for the kids. When we do this and actively practice through games, we are setting our students up to be able to be better at problem-solving, decision-making, and adapting to new situations throughout their lives.

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Categories: : board games, executive functioning, social skills