Teaching Communication Styles to Kids with Social Challenges: Practical Activities & Strategies

Diana Cortese Author

Understanding the nuances of social communication can be challenging for all kids. It can be particularly difficult for neurodiverse learners.

Expressing feelings, sharing a joke, and showing empathy are crucial for building friendships and strong social connections. Effective communication allows children to connect with others, share experiences, and feel understood. However, many children, particularly those with autism, ADHD, and other social communication challenges, struggle to understand and respond appropriately to different communication styles. This can lead to misunderstandings, frustration, and even social isolation. This article provides practical strategies and engaging activities to help educators teach communication styles to their students.

How Communication Challenges Impact Children with Autism and ADHD

Social communication is complex. It involves much more than just words; tone of voice, body language, facial expressions, and unspoken social cues all play a significant role. Children with autism and ADHD often face unique challenges in interpreting and responding to these subtleties, which can significantly impact their social interactions.

Communication Challenges in Children with ADHD and Autism

Children with ADHD may have difficulty with attention, impulsivity, and self-regulation, making it harder for them to recognize and respond to different communication styles. They might miss subtle cues, interrupt conversations, struggle to adjust their tone or volume depending on the setting, or have difficulty planning and organizing their thoughts for effective communication.

For autistic children, challenges in understanding facial expressions, body language, and social cues can make it difficult to grasp the nuances of communication. They may interpret language literally, struggle to adapt their own communication style to different situations, or become overwhelmed by sensory input, which can further hinder their ability to focus on conversations and social cues.

Teaching the 4 Communication Styles: A Practical Guide for Educators

Explicitly teaching children about different communication styles is essential for their social-emotional development. Here's how you can introduce the four main communication styles in a way that's engaging and easy for students to understand:

How to Introduce the 4 Communication Styles:

Keep the introduction simple and relatable. Explain that just like we have different ways of dressing or playing, we also have different ways of talking and listening. These different "talking styles" can affect how others see us and how we get along with others.

1. Passive Communication

Kid Friendly Definition: This style is when someone feels shy or finds it hard to speak up even when they want to or feel they should. This can make it tough to make friends or get what they want. Ask them to imagine someone who is very quiet in class and doesn't raise their hand even when they know the answer. They might let others decide what to play at recess even if they have a different idea. This is called passive communication. 

2. Aggressive Communication

Kid Friendly Definition: This is when someone is overly loud or bossy when they talk. They might say things that hurt people's feelings or make them feel uncomfortable. Ask them to think about someone who always wants to be in charge and might yell or say mean things to get their way. This is called aggressive communication. 

3. Assertive Communication

Kid Friendly Definition: This style of communication is when someone shows confidence in what they say and they say it in a friendly and respectful way. It is also knowing how to stand up for themselves without hurting others. This is the 'just right' way of talking. It's when someone says what they need or want in a polite and respectful way. They listen to others, too. This is called assertive communication. It's like being a confident communicator.

4. Passive-Aggressive Communication

Kids Friendly Definition: This is when the things that are said seem okay on the surface but actually make others feel upset or annoyed. This can be tricky to deal with because the spoken words and the intent behind the words do not match.

Engaging Activities for Teaching Communication Styles

However, knowing this and understanding what to do with this information are two different things. Kids need to experience hearing, reacting, and expressing themselves in these styles. Small group settings that offer a safe and supportive setting such as social skills groups, school counseling, or speech therapy sessions are perfect environments for practicing and refining these communication skills. By participating in group activities, children have the opportunity to observe and learn from their peers as well as receive feedback on their communication. Through guided practice and feedback within the group setting, children get real life practice with their peers to build confidence in finding an assertive voice.

Learning about communication styles shouldn't feel like a lecture. Kids learn best through interactive, engaging experiences that involve movement and critical thinking. Students should not be given black and white responses to memorize. They should be presented with information and able to form their own opinions and thoughts. The magic of a group is that students get the feedback of their peers which is really the most important feedback to get. Here are two activities you can use to bring this topic to life:

1. Communication Styles BINGO

Communication Styles BINGO is a game that offers a fun and interactive way for students to recognize and differentiate between passive, aggressive, assertive, and passive-aggressive communication. 

How to Play:

Students listen to statements and mark the corresponding communication style on their BINGO cards. However, the magic is in the details! The relatable statements , the tone of delivery, and the discussions you facilitate afterward are key to making this game a powerful learning tool.

2. Communication Styles Scenario Sorting: Analyzing Real-Life Interactions

Communication Styles Scenario Sorting activity takes learning about communication styles a step further by challenging students to analyze and categorize different responses to real-life social situations. This activity moves beyond simple identification and encourages students to think critically about the impact of different communication styles on relationships and outcomes.

How to Play:

Students are presented with a variety of social scenarios and a set of possible responses. Their task is to match each response to the communication style it best represents. This activity promotes discussion, encourages perspective-taking, and helps students develop their analytical skills.

Create a Supportive Environment

The key to the success of these activities is creating a judgment-free environment. Emphasize curiosity and exploration over being "right" or "wrong." Encourage students to share their perspectives and learn from each other. The peer feedback they receive in this safe setting is invaluable for developing and generalizing their communication skills.

Small group settings, such as social skills groups, school counseling sessions, or speech therapy sessions, are perfect environments for practicing and refining communication skills. Group activities allow children to observe and learn from their peers, receive feedback on their own communication, and build confidence in a supportive setting

When you create a judgement-free environment, and stress curiosity over  being correct, your students will will keep progressing and learn to generalize their skills when faced with novel social situations.

If you are interested in learning more about creating such a welcoming environment and designing Social Skills Groups that kids will love, Social Skills Groups for 21st Century Kids could be right for you. 

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Related Articles:

5 Ways to Teach Perspective Taking

Teaching Conversation Skills

Categories: : adhd, autism, friendship, social skills